Life is the game that must be played. ~Edwin Arlington Robinson
Somebody, somewhere, in the mists of time said, ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. This is probably very true but I just wish I could stop being tested. In my forty-three years on this Earth I have been pushed to my limits countless times, and though I am still here to tell the tales, I am getting a little bit weary. How many times must I prove myself? Although I’m an atheist I do sometimes catch myself wondering if there is someone out there having a good old laugh at my expense. And herein lies my dilemma: if there is a puppet master calling all the shots, what do I have to do to convince him that enough is enough and can he/she please turn his/her attention to someone who has managed to get through life relatively unscathed thus far?
I am a good person on the whole; at least I’m told I am. Sure, I have my moments, don’t we all, but I don’t deserve constant pressure to the point of meltdown. My mother tells me that God (hers, not mine) only gives you what you can cope with, but I have to disagree. I think that if this omnipotent being is only dishing it out to the capable, it must be because he needs to keep us occupied whilst he sorts out some of the crap he has created elsewhere. I think he’s a useless manager and if a big corporation employed him, he’d have been sacked by now. And that’s the problem, you see: he’s employed by a co-operative and nobody wants to take responsibility for firing him; he just keeps being given another chance. So, I ask this: could someone, somewhere grow some balls and get rid of the big twit who seems to be controlling my life and let me fuck it up for myself?